It absolutely was the sort of e-mail that produces your arms tight clench up, right by the ears.
A friend—not a super-close one, but one we respected and admired—wanted my assistance with a writing task.
Her due date ended up being 7 days away. She simply required several hours of my time. She had been also ready to spend me personally. Would we assist?
I took a deep breathing, glanced within my calendar, and chewed it over.
Hmmm. I really could probably fit this project that is little my week if We juggled a couple of things around, woke up early in the day, stayed up later on, or carved out some time on a Saturday or Sunday.
But also simply thinking I was already feeling bitter and resentful about it.
The reality had been, i just didn’t wish to accomplish it.
The task didn’t excite me. The funds did make it any n’t more desirable. I’d go for those full hours to myself be effective back at my other tasks. Or simply just cuddle with my sweetheart.
There clearly was no compelling reasons why we need to state “yes!” to her demand—other than simply to “be nice” and “help out a pal.” And even though i actually do love being a fantastic, helpful buddy, often, the clear answer is “not this time around.”
It had been somewhat embarrassing, but We made my decision.
I happened to be willing to create a response and say “no.”
And without a doubt, it is a funny thing—even as an expert author and communications strategist whom makes a full time income advising individuals on which to say and exactly how to express it—saying “no” to a buddy remains a scenario that is tricky. Specially when you’re nervous about damaging the connection. (more…)